How to live positively after disappointments

Greetings!!! Welcome back to my media space! This is the last article am writing when this blog is celebrating it's second anniversary, I hope you’ve enjoyed the other articles too, click here to read them. This is part of my journaling because I’ve discovered a review of activities you have done makes you stay in touch with what exactly you want, where you are going and sometimes is an important indicator of certain relationships, dreams and things that you have to let go so that you can spend more time and efforts focusing on new possibilities. On your birthdays, anniversary and holidays, having a review is always exceptionally poignant in starting a new chapter because you get more aware of what you missed in the last season and what you need to do in this season to be successful. It helps you live positively after disappointments on your dreams.

Reflections From National Holidays

Kenyans will be celebrating Madaraka Day as a reflection of an independence war that happened long ago. The same has happened to Americans where over the weekend they celebrated the Memorial Day. In both countries patriotic citizens will be reflecting on wars and celebrate the efforts of the earlier generations. The bottom line is that, in both countries, we are setting aside a time to show our gratitude to heroes and heroines who sacrificed their own lives for the sake of liberties that we enjoy. Of course being a Christian and a Patriotic Kenyan especially, am thankful for the heroes who paid the freedom I enjoy today with their own blood.'

I think there hardest part being a Christian, ambitious and patriotic Kenyan is celebrating anything that has been won through a war. There are always some inconsistences that one will always have to be faced with. I mean just think about it, Jesus seems to have settled it on the Sermon on the Mount when he stated, turn the other cheek or love your enemies. In as much as this world wants us to believe that when we get lemons we ought to make some lemonade, it very tricky to remain peaceful when you have been tossed on every side by physical, psychological, and financial violence when we are going through this life. At such times, the simplest option we are all prone to is become angry, resent and of course want to revenge, complain and quit. That’s the easiest route that anyone can taking. You really don’t have to make more efforts to make a decision to return evil for evil that has been done to you, to blame others when things have not worked for you or walk away from your offices when you’ve been unfairly treated by an unjust manager.

Entitled to be Angry and Disappointed

And honestly speaking we are entitled to being angry and responding to our disappointments in a negative way. Think about it, a few months back, my friend and I were building a social web application; the idea seemed so awesome, creative, mature, and innovative and name it. It was just nice to say the least. We roll it out, it gains massive membership but unfortunately we got disappointed when the website come tumbling down due to technical issues that we have not anticipated. It was none of our error in the first place and therefore we had every reason to complain, abandon the idea or rejoice over it because we knew where it had gone wrong. We chose the latter. As I write this we are still finding a way to fix this issue. This is life! We get what we choose to imagine from the circumstances we go through in life.

Related: Power of Simple Conversations

 

Confrontation Leads to Despair

The worse, response that you can embrace when you are in a state of confrontation in this world is being intentionally combative, rude, cruel and bitter. Its true friends that you will be faced with battles that is outside the parameters that any consider as just to fight in, and the world will cheer violence and injustice to your dreams and vision, however just don’t be quick to despair. This is because becoming confrontational exposes you to being defensive and this hurts even the more your feelings than the real harm that the eventuality had caused on you. Take a deep breath, say to your heart, “it is well with my heart” and brace yourself to fight for another day. When you think it’s all over visualize peace, make effort to remain calm and surely even when there are sounds of rattling swords, bombs bursting in the air or firing guns, you will find safety and confidence in your own dreams and vision.

Read also: You are more precious to keep on Worrying

Live Positively

When you feel defeated in you world and are considering engaging in conflicts to save your image, and dignity always be careful and consider that option as a last resort. Dear friend, refrain and restrain from engaging in activities that will undermine your character and compromise your position. Instead be careful to negotiate your way and surely no one will stand your innovation. Embrace positivity from the disappointment. My own philosophy has always been that whenever that an idea that has come to maturity will always have its way. Sometimes people may be a little bit unfair to it but definitely it’s not long before they agree to it.

Expectations and Realities

This life will always present to us huge Gaps between our expectations and reality. And as human beings, facing reality isn’t so easy; most often wen wish we could avoid cause it may be somehow unbearable. The point is you need to have the courage to affirm you values, attitudes and faith while you acknowledge your vulnerabilities that you are exposed to. You need serenity when you think you are not lucky enough on this occasion or you are disappointed you did not have the capacity, skill and talent to push forward you agenda. The disappointments and frustration in life, ought to open up alternative realities for us so as to view new possibilities to things we have all together ignored and often such realities are for our nourishment.

Outcomes meant for your JOY and NOT MISERY

Disappoints are real in this life, but think of Amrit Desai, an Indian Guru who is said to have had a huge collection of extremely rare crystals which he had accumulated for many years. One day a lady cleaning his house accidently knocked the display case where the crystals had been housed sadly smashing the irreplaceable crystals. The lady was fearful of her error and pointing out her mistake to the guru expecting a violent response, Desai told her, “Those crystals were for my joy not for my misery”. What a turn around? If only you considered and accepted your frustrations and disappointments as reasons for your joy instead of taking them as reasons for your misery. Think about it, if you only hoped that your wildest of dreams will come true and only spent all your efforts discussing, imagining, dreaming and enjoying your best expectation of the outcome. When your desires and promises do not happen, you are certainly permitted to be disappointed but not for long to hinder your ability to see with certainty that there’s a good life after. Martha Beck says that “The fact that you are still alive means there is still too much that have happened to you than has gone wrong so far”. Don’t fear to stand, dust up and move on.

Conclusion

Just think about your greatest triumphs and disappointments over a dinner table with your family and friends, share this conversation with them. Celebrate with them and cheer up. There are better things coming up soon. Let go of those disappointments, begin to create and discover new dreams and exciting ways to start a new life. Have a reflective life. Remember to stay in touch with me at jeremiahwakamu@gmail.com or on Facebook Jeremiaho Wakamu to keep this discussion going. And again referrals though you social media network/connection and word of mouth is the best you can do for this blog.

The Place of Faith in a Vision

Greeting!!! Welcome back to my media space. Its FEEL GOOD MAY when this blog is celebrating the second anniversary. As a way of marking the second birthday, the month of May is set aside for reflection of the two years’ journey. The first of the reflections was on bossing our feelings when pursuing our vision and dreams, click here to read it. The second was how to deal with frustrations in your single-hood. This is awesomely good! For such a fate its FEEL GOOD MAY. Sometimes back, in this blog I’ve discussed the error of Christopher Columbus the man who discovered the route to India click here to read it. He might have missed an actual shorter length but nevertheless his work, heroism, exploits and courage are well-documented and celebrated in all ages. I strongly believe that when a vision or a dream whispers we must seek to train to be effective.  But I ask, was his discovery a true vision or a mare accident whose occurrence had faith as a component? Did faith influence the accomplishment of his life? I tend to believe that faith has influence on the lives of great men who have a vision in life.

Reading the recipe or baking the cake?

What’s the place of faith in a vision, I again ask? To answer this, consider life as being fair enough to everyone and provides them with necessary ingredients and an accompanying recipe that they can translate them into a cake. The point is, the primary responsibility of the baker is to read the recipe, understand and follow the steps for a successful baking process. Doing so will amount to a baked delicious cake when the ingredients are mixed well and otherwise, we’ll end up with a cake no one wants to consume or recipe talk. This is same as receiving a vision in the invisible realm and translating it into practical working reality in the visible realm. A vision needs to produce tangible actions just as a recipe produces a cake. In the midst of the process, where is the place of faith in transforming ingredients into a cake?

Vision and Faith as functions of the heart

Dear readers, sight are a function of the eyes while vision is a function of the heart. This is because sight is just the ability to see things as they are and vision is the ability to view things as they could possibly be. That means that with eyes, people only see what is in the physical world, what their visual ability is limited to see but with faith, people have convictions of things that are not as though they are. They have hope of what possibly is unimaginable idea. The problem with sight is that it has no hope! You are not able to see anything beyond this moment and day and hence sight should never determine what our heart believes in. A vision in itself cannot function without the means of faith. Thoughts and words design a vision but faith creates that vision into a future. Friends, while it’s true that words and thoughts have creative power, its faith that is the ingredient to sees opportunities in problems and finally transforms the thoughts and ideas into great achievement. Faith is the means through which people are empowered to bring to manifestation of what is unseen. This cannot be through visual means but through an inner understanding of the self and so faith qualifies as a function of the heart.

Faith as a motivation of the vision received

Faith brings a new excitement, and understanding that men with a vision are in positions of authority. They gain meaningful insights that they are well supplied with talents and strength to pursue and win in life and therefore do not need to complain and blame others when things are not working for them. When men with a vision spice it up with faith, they genuinely gain the confidence and comfort that they will win and achieve. These people will have their spirits lifted in the midst of temporal failures. With faith a person can pursue their vision in life without fear for they do not limit their power and ability on what they possess but on the supplies of a divine power whose source is beyond them.

Real vision produces a faith that works

Historically, great innovations and discoveries have been made by successful people with great thoughts. These are people whose vision outlived them and continue to make impact even on their graves. It’s argued that ideas control the world. For a vision to outlive a person, they need not confine the idea to themselves but conceive and express it. This is faith in vision, because how you see things determines how you think and act and thus in the end whether your vision will become a reality. You see faith make people effective in their vision because they pursue with their whole hearts, strengths and will only one vision at a go in which they are fully convinced, it’s the right. To receive a vision demands that we respond immediately, and this is the only way to fulfill it. With or without the resource needed, a person must be ready to jump the ship and stir it in the unknown path which can only be possible through faith. How else do you set on journey to unknown land across vast amounts of water in an ocean for Columbus? This is because of faith, cutting off all the fears and admitting that this vision is beyond our 

circumstance and from God whom we have received it from, he can choose to work with anyone.

Conclusion

Have a reflective life. Remember to stay in touch with me at jeremiahwakamu@gmail.com or on Facebook Jeremiaho Wakamu to keep this discussion going. And again referrals though you social media network/connection and word of mouth is the best you can do for this blog

How To Deal with Singlehood Frustrations

Greeting!!! Welcome back to my media space. Its FEEL GOOD MAY when this blog is celebrating the second anniversary. As a way of marking the second birthday, the month of May is set aside for reflection of the two years’ journey. The first of the reflections was on bossing our feelings when pursuing our vision and dreams, click here to read it. Finally, this marks the fifty first article. Put it into context, at least two article every forty night. This is awesomely good! In the last two years I’ve avoided talking about my personal affairs unless it was personification for the purposes of bring clarity in my writing. I did understand that doing so would not leave me vulnerable in the blog-sphere and so expect what I was on the public domain, I completely ignored other information that was unnecessary.

SINGLE-HOOD AND FRUSTRATIONS

But wait, two years later, with a number of articles that were received well on my views of perfect romantic relationships, I am still single and to some extent am beginning to trace some sense of ‘frustration”. I have spent the entire of my 20* years being single minus a short stint relating with a lady which am not sure if we had agreed to relate. Take another context; I’ve gone through 3 years in college and 1 year Post College without hooking up with a lady. During those last four years it is when there is some urgency, pressure and a deep desire to search and find completion in someone else and also in ourselves. For that reason, it’s during this period of being single, that you oscillate between being perfectly hopelessly romantically unattached to happily single individual. At times you are tempted and stirred to awaken love and other times you are torn between your freedoms, anxieties and doubts. Times you are confident and enjoying your single hood but at the same frustrated its not and might never work for you - romantic relationship. And so you struggle between what’s familiar in single hood including your pride, control, priorities and greed with hesitation to embrace romance as an option that starves fear, pride and greed.

Read also: Why I will marry a woman who loves solitude

Being single when you are approaching your mid-twenties in this generation where no one wants to be “alone” is quite a challenging task especially when you are required to explain your single hood status. I mean when you are with your peers who settled on a lady and they are either married or about to get married, you just wonder, are you becoming a bit choosy or not strategically positioned to interact with potentially good and fair ladies? And so the easiest route and advice these friends give you is “go easier on the ladies” you are not strong and capable on your own though you are want to be independent. At such times it dawns on you that the excitement you had on romantic relationships is beginning to fade as you interact with guys with different viewpoints of true and authentic romantic relationships.

DISTORTED IMAGE OF LOVE AND ROMANCE

Take this example, a couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with Jane* in her desk. Jane is a colleague who is probably two years younger than me. She is unmarried but has had four men in her life with whom two they have been sexually active. The current boyfriend works a bit far from where she lives and occasionally visits to spend “few nights” with her in Jane’s house. She then tells me that when her boyfriend spends more than a week in her house, she requests him to leave, Reason? Who wants to be someone’s wife anymore? You see dear readers, Jane thinks and believes that women are no longer able to live full time in the same house with a man, no wonder she cannot let him stay for more than a week. And she’s honest, she believes she can’t. She’s just a representative of many others like her whom the distortions of the truth regarding romantic relations have tendencies to frustrate our picture of what is romance in the picture of a lifelong commitment in the context to marriage.

Related: Created in Eden, Learnt out of Eden

The problem with this twisted truth about marriage is that it hurts the image of singleness as hub of vanity freedoms, security, safety and control. While true that singleness is a period when a person has full control of their own schedules, control and finances, singleness is also the greatest killer of strengths that exists in true love. Clinging on to single-hood threatens our abilities to grasp the beauty of being under the shadow of someone who cares for us to bring perfection for us. On one hand, the reluctance is refueled by lack trust and our unlearning of childhood education to keep off girls and boys.

CONCLUSION

In my deep frustrations of viewing myself as having being left behind, I have learnt to stare longer over the ocean waves and the expansive skies and deep darkness listening to their magic to understand the work of God being made manifest through them. In the uncertainty, when I just watch the anonymity of directions of the waves and I know the solution of my frustrations is not just in finding a spouse because I must be like my peers but to understand the perfect timing of seasons in life. I must alternate my swinging desires and excitement about romance with silence of expectation of better days and faithfulness during this season of being single. The last words I would cling to rather than my single-hood or romance is in the story of John Kavanaugh in a book Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. The brilliant ethicist John set out on journey to Calcutta city with the intent of finding “the best way to spend his remaining life”.

On the first morning he met with Mother Teresa she requested her to pray for him and when he was asked what he wanted the Nun to pray for her he said, “Pray that I may have clarity”. Mother Teresa declined to honor his prayer request and asked why, Mother Teresa answered, “Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and you must let go of”. For me that is a perfect answer to my search for a perfect and beautiful life. If I am searching to have clarity on whether I still want to love I must first let go of that desire and look beyond my trust and will and let it be. This will lift the heavy burden of finding endless answers in a painful process instead I should invest my efforts and heart on having the freedom to love and live fully. The summary of this as Brennan puts it is that there is a certain beauty that has learnt to trust eternally and that in all circumstance has no capacity to say, “note mine will, but God’s will”. This process requires raw honesty, authenticity and gratitude where we can maturely express our stale faith, sense to belong and doubts without being overwhelmed of the pleasures and pains that we are inflicted from the external world. We are able to progress from in obedience to our calling without ever complaining of our inadequacies of not having or having a romantic partner.

Read Articles: My entrepreneurial wife

                        The Girl I’ll propose to

Have a reflective life. Remember to stay in touch with me at jeremiahwakamu@gmail.com or on Facebook Jeremiaho Wakamu to keep this discussion going. And again referrals though you social media network/connection and word of mouth is the best you can do for this blog.

BOSSING MY FEELINGS ON THIS BLOG'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY

Greetings, it’s been a while since there was any real activity here. I take full responsibility for that. Welcome back to my media space. If this is your first time visiting this blog, my names are Jeremiah Wakamu. This blog started in April 2014 and has been active since then. It has been a long journey from baby steps of faith, to now giant steps. This far only God! In celebrating the second anniversary, I want to take time and recall where it all began. I had heard it before a couple of times to be precise that if you want to write, take a pen and blank writing pad and fill it with words. That was the genesis of my motivation but that would do less in welling up creativity and words that would touch the lives of my dear readers. But anyway when you want to fly you dare to try. And so I was a dreamer who envied spreading love, excellence and faith. As an ICT Technician Intern at Nairobi City County Government Offices – Kenya I came guns brazing with a makeshift blog, unprofessional, naïve and inexperienced.

The Re-branding

You see, initially when I was starting, I had no idea I had the ability to write sustainably for those two years. Well, it has happened, for this reason its FEEL GOOD MAY in celebrating the second anniversary. One more thing, I was uncertain about what was the core thing I was starting this blog for. And so I oscillated between a few options until I finally settled down six months later when I re-branded to JEREMIAH WAKAMU: HELPING YOU JOIN THE DOTS. I had all along been naïve and was unaware that this would eventually need more reflections and clarity. And so it was now clear that I needed to transform this blog into a site where someone would visit and find hope and learn how they would “join the dots” of excellence in life. The journey since then began and there’s no turning back.

The Second Anniversary

As you join me in reflecting this painfully yet amazing journey, one thing I can point out on this anniversary is that from the first article with no re-branding, the consistent message has been excellence, hope and understanding God’s plan over a person’s life to excel. We’ve moved from does God feel my pain, to diligent hands will rule, to perspectives in wealth creation and to are you still looking to be validated. When I first began to write, just as anyone starting something new, I was fired up and was ready to go. I had in particular nothing to write about but I had the excitement and the enthusiasm to make it happen. The excitement, courage and enthusiasm provided the fuel to thrust me into the media space. But that was not enough to sustain the passion! Get it from me, times the journey though worth taking hasn’t been a smooth to follow through. And I think that’s what life is about, we always insufficient to make things happen and times we leave them just after starting out. In it all, I HAVE LEARNT TO PUSH MYSELF TO THE LIMITS AND FOLLOW THROUGH THIS COMMITMENT DESPITE HOW I FEEL. Time very unfaithful but I quickly retract and follow it, no wonder on this month when I’m celebrating the second anniversary not a month has passed without having at least one article posted.

See also: Consistency in life: Vision in One Sentence

Blogging and Feelings

You see dear friends, times I don’t feel good about the blog and the passion to write always, other times I’m tired or am late in completing an article. And other times I feel all the three and so I simply DON’T WANT TO CONTINUE. I mean the struggle with feelings, emotions and will is real. And so when they push you to the wall you have an option to let them boss you and turn around, walk away and call it a closed chapter or boss them, take control and move on writing. But that’s not me and shouldn’t be you! At those moments, you have to stand tall, take charge and boss you feelings and keep going.

Dear readers, quitting this blog would to me not look like a big deal and indeed it’s not compared to other things which if I walked away would matter most like faith. I can choose to explore what I feel good about and abandon this blog. The truth is the choice to abandon it would be “inconsequential” but it does matter. You know why? It’s because such a moment and a choice lays the ground for what we’ll do in future where high stakes are involved. We can’t just let our own feelings take over now and hope they will not do it again in when we are pursuing other higher agendas in life. When we permeate them today, the point is we will let them boss us even in future.

In this month of May when this blog is celebrating its second anniversary, I want you to understand that feelings, emotions and will make us feel inadequate. When they come within our hearts and mind we feel like we really don’t measure up and so we think we should quit and not bother. You’ve to understand that we are indeed weak and by ourselves we have no confidence or the strength to make things be. What’s important is to acquire a new mindset and let God furnish us with sense of adequacy and self-worth. You don’t have to feel awesome to pursue a new business, you don’t have to feel good and blessed to attend a Sunday service and you don’t have to feel nice to talk with tenderness to your colleagues. When we go through life with feelings and emotions bossing us around, we experience frequent defeats. We cannot stand up on our own and anything can toss us around.

Conclusion

On this anniversary I am renewing my commitment, to not walk away but to soldier on with better, innovative, inspiring, motivating and educative articles in this year and beyond. I don’t want to regret that I did not feel it and so I quit. I want to invite God so that he can help me walk it through and stick in it. I want to celebrate in the future when I look back and say surely, I made it because I did not let my canal ideas to abandon this noble God's given mandate and talent prevail. I trust you too will walk with me.

THANK YOU GOD, FOR OFFERING TO HELP ME STICK IN THIS BLOG AND BE FAITHFUL TO MY READERS AND YOUR CALLING.

With Mothering Sunday quickly approaching, I must this year celebrate two women my MUM, MARY M. GATONGA and my only Sister GRACE W. GATONGA who have played an important role in mentoring and encouraging me all through. They have been amazing friends and I can only hope that my constant absence at home will be compensated by my undying hope and love for them. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU. You are a blessing to have you. Happy mothering Sunday to all women readers and friends. I really bless God for you, you mean much to me and this blog.

Have a reflective life. Remember to stay in touch with me at jeremiahwakamu@gmail.com or on Facebook Jeremiaho Wakamu to keep this discussion going. And again referrals though you social media network/connection and word of mouth is the best you can do for this blog.