Lend Me Your Ears

Guys can we really find peace in an unstable world? When we are confronted with events that threaten to erode our confidence in God can we still have hope? Or perhaps when we have made ourselves vulnerable to the authority of God and he chooses to let us go through fire can we still say that God is still on my side? Can we fight on his side when we have been hurt?  And we still declare that GOD is "the same yesterday and today, and forever? Can we find inner peace?

There are times when certain events take on our faith. They shake the foundations of our faith. Our convictions we have formed overtime are put into test. But when all is said and done such times is when our faith is purified and when we withstand it we come out of pain much stronger and way better than we thought we were before. We can put our hearts to rest and say that he is our friend, our redeemer and our advocate.

In this world there are and will always have inconsistencies and contradictions that when we will observe them we do not see how they can in any way add up to what we know. We know for sure this is not close to obvious we know and are used to. A world under a God that is perfect cannot be imperfect, we reason.  Didn’t Jesus promise peace to would be His disciples yet they continually face challenges and pain as anyone else sometimes much more than non-believers?  We always wonder why God would allow this to happen to his own. It seems an embarrassment to his divine character. Fairness, justice, mercy and love all come into question in moments like this. In our finite minds we try finding answers to life challenging questions on the place of God in our lives and in the world. We ask, He could allow us to undergone such traumatizing events of pain in our lives? And in our minds that may not at such times comprehend the nature of God  we are convinced we know and claim we understand conclude, ”surely this cannot be God”, there cannot be God who is all powerful, all knowing and takes part in everything that occurs on earth. Thus we tend to distort our faith by doubting if we are really in Gods plans. Then slowly by slowly, with disappointments around our life we consider that there can never anywhere in the world this can happen to anyone who trusts in the Lord Jesus.

At the times when we struggle to understand God in times of persecution, what should we do and remember? In the face of oppression from the enemy, we must cry to the lord for help. Israelites did and God heard their cry for help. They did this on several occasions and God came to their rescue. The Lord says, "I, even I, am the Lord; and there is no savior besides me. Turn to me and be saved...for I am God, and there is no other”. They did so in Egypt and Moses was sent to lead them out to a land flowing with milk and honey. In the wilderness on their way to Canaan they cried to God and they were saved. They did so again during the times of Judges. In pain ensure that you give God no rest until he perfects you in all things. They called on his name and surely god established freedom and peace to them. They knew that even though God had punished them and had been angry with them, in his grace and mercy, he would still remember them. They understood that at his hands was the safest place to be in. they would not let their faith fail them. They made up their mind to look not onto the hills or the mountains but on the heavens where their help would come from. He would not let his own people to be punished by their enemy beyond what he had intended of them. God had pity on them. As a father has compassion on his sons he had compassion on them and came to their aide. God who is powerful and able to do all things did not tally. He could not break his covenant he had made with Abraham his servant that Israel would be a nation established for his own glory to show his patience and love to all people. And to us we must hold on to prayer and not let our faith fail us. Cry in the closet but also in public. Our pains are too a small thing that the lord too powerful to handle and save you. He tells us to seek and we will find him, we ask and it will be given to us and we knock and the door will be opened for us. His promises are yes and amen. He will come and repay what you have lost. He will establish you in his grace.

We must not forget that when the lord sees our struggle, he sends us messengers of hope. In desperation, he sends his servants with good news. Moses was sent to Israelites in Egypt, an angel was sent to timid Gideon and Jesus to a world lost in sin and depravity. They come to comfort us and remind us that in the past god had been with us and we can bank on him even now to rescue us. They bring refreshment for our souls in such times. They have cool water that we need when we are in summer seasons of life. They bring healing. God in his might can use anyone to bring the package of hope to us. Sometimes he uses prophets; other times pastors, workmate, classmates, strangers, family members or friends. He is one who chooses whom to use in his wisdom. He still has better plans for us. And though the conditions prevailing are seemed to work against us then we can be sure that whatever he has written about us still holds. Our deliverance is on the way. It has not delayed. The lord is still one who anchors our faith. We must not lose our confidence in his word and message of our refreshment. Do not die alone. Let others be with you. Examine their words and if they are genuine from the Lord believe it and keep it with you. Remind God of the small victories that he gave you in the past and thank Him that this too will pass away.

But I know it’s not easy especially to believe that God is working out things for you in times of pain. But he is nevertheless doing it. I have all the reasons to believe his word. If I can believe in his son Jesus that he has saved me then I can too believe he still loves me. I do not need a sigh to believe. If God decides to show me the sign, I will be grateful to him and if not I will praise his name. I will still love him. I will still believe that God has no evil plans over my life. He is not interested in ensuring that he punishes me with pain. He is interested to ensuring that I learn and know if my heart will still cling to him. He desires to know if my heart is still true to him. If I pass the test, I will receive the reward both here and in eternity. If pain does not end here in this world, I can trust that in heaven there will be no more pain and sorrow. That is what I am convicted. I make myself vulnerable to God’s word and his promises. He will not ashame me.

God unlike us knows what will happen to us today, tomorrow and the next year. He says, "I am God, and there is no one like me, declaring the end from the beginning. If he declared of this then I can be sure that when pain happens to me, he will be there right with me. He will be aware that it is happening. Again, I know that he is will be my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. God will still care for me. He will express this through love and not just mare love, but deep love shown through victory. The lord will fight on my behalf. If he tells me to open my eyes and see that two sparrows are sold for a cent.  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore do not fear; you are of more value than many sparrows."  If you turn to God, he will care for you as no one else does, and in a way that no one else can. Yes that those are his words.

Do not think that God will forget you. He is more than willing to help you. For his own Glorly he will want to show himself faithful to his word. And never think that you will ever get inner peace from outside. You must always remeber that peace can only be given by an eternal God. He is the prince of peace. He gives peace tha surpasses human understsnading. Trust in Him and do not loose confidence in him. If you act Faithless you will sin. The glor

Relationship or Situationship?

This blog was re branded to help you in JOINING THE DOTS IN LIFE. Its amazing to see and hear how the small things that we do can go a long way to make a significant change into people’s lives. I had not known this until a few weeks ago when I met with an extremely strange people who said hi to me on the streets of JKUAT. They informed me they had learnt of this blog through friends and had come to love it. Its not insignificant of you taking sometime to visit here and refer this to your friends even for your own empowerment. Today we are friends and I just thank God for that. Indeed I always think of “What if one day I woke up and found that the things I do have no real eternal significance” and so as I think of this I am inspired to do things that will count in eternity. That aside today I will help you know if really you are in a relationship or a situationship.

As I begin to unpack today’s topic I want to be careful and start with this disclaimer. “The thoughts herein are both inspirational through observation and research. They may be both real but does not necessary mean that they are personal events in my own life” At a time when relationship dynamics are constantly getting redefined and people are desperate to label their relationships, it seems as if guys and ladies are increasingly falling into the trap of situation ship.

And so what is a situationship? It’s more than friends – it is a local arrangement with some benefits but less than a relationship. It looks like a relationship to a man/woman, but it is an arrangement of mere convenience to the partners. As the name suggest it is one where a condition or position makes one to be found and maybe not of their own will. They find themselves doing things because they found themselves doing it. People simply find themselves doing things people relating do.

So what are the causes of this new generation relationship definition? One and the greatest is Ambiguity regarding your relationship status. It is also the most basic sign that you are in a situation ship. When people are unaware of what the end of a relationship end up in then they lose sight and want to be happy for the time being. They do not have future in the horizon. Many people are also to situation ships is loneliness. As people mostly the young people desire to identify with their friends who have fiancées they become vulnerable to falling into situation ships where they tag themselves to people of the opposite sex and want to act as if they are cozy and cool.

When a young lady begins relations with a charming gentleman and she has no expectations the greatest probability is that it will end up as a situation ship. If the man fails to tell her of terms of romantically relating of there are uncertain terms at the start me tend to think the man may not really be in need to seriously relate but rather he was just looking for random play. It starts like a normal friendship but now it’s branded as friendship with benefits. They share gifts and open their hearts to each other. And genuinely they sort each other especially in crisis. It seems that it is working for the time being and so either the man of the lady may settle for a causal relationship with him/her. For a lady she will later say, “He was a place holder and good enough for the moment,” when she ends up being frustrated.

A few weeks in, he/she will find themselves doing all things that a man/woman in a relationship does. They will buy each other gifts, go out for dinners and lunch, spend times together, call in weird times of the night, demand full disclosure of their almost everything that people in a relationship do, talk about love and do things as if they love each other.

It meets your immediate need for either sex and/or companionship. But what many people who engage in such arrangements are however oblivious to is the fact that while they carry on a meaningless arrangement with a gap-filler, they end up lose out on a real relationship because to a third party, they appear as if they are in a relationship. More people that knows them will think they have made a great couple.

Despite the fact that situationship exist, real relationships do exist too. True relationships are where sacred souls are on a sacred journey walk together honoring God hoping that two will become better than one and the sum of two parts they are complement to be one. And so the kingdom principle of love requires that those who choose to love must reach out and yield themselves and their resources to the needs of others whether they feel good about it or not. Demand for privileges and the pressure to claim and cling to our rights may be the greatest challenge to love and this makes the difference between true Christian romantic relationship and situationship. It’s not something of convinced. It’s something that people choose to do. To love compelled by the love of God. They make real cost of it so that they will not be laughed at when it fails. And by the way it never fails because God is the perfect match maker. This scripture is full filled in due course of their life. Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money (resources, strength), you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish.’

And now I know that you know now. Be careful not to be set in to the trap of situationship.

Why I will marry a woman who loves solitude....

Sometimes last week I got thinking, Who will I marry when time comes? It was distressing to me and I got laughing about it. But then as I was doing so, I remembered a magazine I was reading sometimes back with the main subject being living in solitude and the secrets of a successful life in solitude. And as I remembered what the writer was talking about I became convinced that it was exactly what I wish my woman will be. Women who spend time in solitude. And by the way I think I have enough reasons why I will marry her and I wish to outline it in this writings. I must however put a disclaimer that the reasoning behind this is solely my open mind and does not mean that I will exactly marry her. I will marry just the right one whom I will be compatible with.

Now I will marry a woman who spends more time on her own in a secret place because:

• A woman who loves to spend more time in solitary places can build a more tight relationship with God and have more time to build an alliance with God which is one requirement for a successful marriage. My reasoning is that they spend that time in reading and meditation and thus they will know more how to fear and honor God since I will marry a woman who fears God. As they develop a more intimate relationship with God they will receive instructions from the Lord on how to become a Proverbs 31 woman from the word of the lord. They will know that she ought to be submissive to me, they need to be the home dressers and provide cover to me in my weaknesses.  Such Women who spend time more time in solitary and fear God will pray for our home more. In such a deep relationship I am sure the lord will build and watch over our home.

• I know such women will take time even to think issues concerning how we can build a strong and a good family. They will be critical in how they handle issues. I know we will not argue more often because she will bring more sense into life. In the multitude of words the Bible say sin abounds and so I know when no much idle talk does not arise then we will have fewer conflicts. More so such women I know they will engage more in giving their energy to our marriage than tearing it apart in gossip an waste time with other women who can lead to collapse of our home.

• I will marry a solitary woman because I believe if solitary they experience is from a forced circumstance prior to our marriage such as due to hatred, anger and bitterness, I know they will provide a spark love towards me when they decide to come out of it. They will be more loving when they shed off that solitude.

• I will marry such women because they are strong to take care of themselves and the kids God will reward us with even when I am away for sometimes maybe due to job or business engagements. Or maybe when I decide to take sometimes to pray alone. If they can take care of their issues in private and confronting them without running away from them they will be strong even to take care of herself. As such I will not be worried when I will away for some time that something amiss will happen to them in my absence. They will be able to take care of themselves and the family.

• I will marry such women because they will not demand too much from me. They will not raise financial bars and standards beyond what even they will not be able to reach. They will be understanding and self-reliant. More so such women will not have high expectations on me but will make every effort to independent as much but will only look for me to head her and provide support and leadership in the family. They will know that I am the head and source of authority in home.

There goes my woman who will love solitary. I must also say that this is open to criticism and correction and I have tried as much as possible to be objective as I could.

Errors and failures

Growing up as a rural folk was one of the moments I will always treasure because it was both great and amazing. It was the serene environment that I most liked. It was green, quite and life was like a routine. Rural areas are different from the capitals where people are in a hurry, careless about their neighbors and life is unpredictable. Rural areas is where you just hear the same radio station tuned on by almost everyone, the only noise is from birds, cattle and babies crying. Life here is a routine; you can almost predict how your day will be. Wake up in the morning, milk the cows, feed them, walk to the fields, in the noon you are back home, water the cows, take lunch and walk back to the fields before milking them in the evening. But all these are done daily perhaps with the exception of Sundays which are the Sabbath days. People take rest and gather in houses of worship before meeting in shopping centers and markets to catch up with others. This is completely different from towns. You can hardly predict how your day will be. But life in rural areas is just that simple and fantastic.

The other day when I thought of such life I told myself I really miss such a life. I would like to life in such a place. But then just before I entertained such a thought I realized something else that almost made me shoot down such an idea. You see mummy and daddy committed almost everything they earned to send their son to school that in the future I may not live in such a rural environment which is characterized by poverty and under development. I wondered what would the villagers’ think of me who have attended university go back and settle down in the village. It is unheard of. But wait a minute, if I will do a mistake, then I just thought of the many other mistakes and errors that I have made in the past. Some which were grievous.  Some I may have considered them greater than this.

As a young boy in primary school I dreamt and hoped that I would score at least 400+ marks in my final primary school exam so that I may secure a place in a national school. And it was not me alone who hoped the same, my parents, teachers and relatives too waited for that. I was just a bright boy. But I failed to score. I score slightly lower marks and did not earn a place in a national school. I was however admitted in a relatively good school, which was also an academic giant. Here I studied so hard and smart than everyone again was sure that I would score straight A’s. Surly I did not disappoint. I could easily have repeated the same in the final exam but again I missed the straight A. just missed with a point. It was disappointing to me. Twice I have missed the mark. Then I made one more mistake. Having such a good grade I would simply have settled for a prestigious course in an engineering field of my choice of a medical field. Instead for me I settled for one which was relatively unknown and new that is what I am pursuing even today Business Information Technology. It was an error which no one thought I would make.

However at this moment I need put a disclaimer that I need not defend my choices. For time will tell if I failed or achieve. But as I pen this down so that you can read it online, I wonder of the many times we thought we have missed the mark and made errors in life. You know all of us are prone to making mistake that do not prevent us from missing targets. Think of a business person who targets to make a profit for a year but ends up making huge losses. What of a priest who targets to have grown his congregation to a certain number by the end of the year by reaching out to lost souls and sheep but fails even to add a few more people at the end of the year? Or what of a student who fails to achieve a target they set at the end of the term. A young man hopes to have married before an age but he has not before then since his fiancée has left him. Or take an example of a driver who wants to make a number of trips per day to earn more but he does not meet the target.  I would add more and more examples of such situations which I think we can all identify with.

As I think of such situations a case study comes to mind of Columbus. Christopher Columbus was on a mission to find a shorter trade route to India, but he missed it by over nine thousand miles. Nine thousand miles! However, that failure put a spotlight on new lands that motivated future explorers, attracted settlers, and eventually resulted in the creation of great nations. It was one of history’s biggest blunders.  I want to help you understand that there is no magnitude of an error of failure you cannot recover from to be heroes like Columbus is in America. In fact he is the only other hero who has a national holiday together with martin Luther king Jr. other national heroes in America are celebrated on one day but he is celebrated on his own day dedicated to him only. Yet this happens despite the fact that he was a victim of failure. He made an error which is beyond the expected margin. It was far off. The path that he proposed to India was too long by about 9, 000 miles. I cannot imagine how they honor such a failure.  Sometimes you have to make an error and aim again if there is a second chance but if there is none then move on. Try something new. Ultimately you will achieve. You should not fear trying making a mistake in parenting, studies, business and financial management and spiritually because you will fail. Know for sure that we will actually cheer you up when you fall, dust yourself and move on. Failure is just something that is meant that if it occurs then we recover from it and move on. It’s not sealed in you.

It should not that lower your self-esteem, erode our faith, and reduce our hope or think it’s where we were meant to be. Do not fear failing because if you do then you will never try. But if you fail evaluate where you went wrong and seek to revise this. The next mistake you make could actually to your next time we honor you.

Even the bible records of such instances of men of faith who failed but woke up and moved on. Abraham the father of faith, he miserably failed but choosing to use a shortcut to establish a family using Hagger who was his slave girl. Yes he did against God that his descendants would be from his own body. Though God was not pleased he was gracious to him and a chance was presented to him to mend his ways and thus today he is still the father of faith and father of the Jews. Another hero was David. He did commit adultery. He sinned against God. But he was restored because he chooses to repent and still pursue God. He is still the man after God’s own heart. It is unimaginable that you would think that you have fallen beyond restoration. Let not failures label you because you will doubt what your ability is that the Lord has granted to you. Failures are not supposed to tell us what we have not and what we cannot do. Appreciate the fact that you made mistake. Do not defend it. Cheer up friend you made a mistake but we celebrate you.