Relationship or Situationship?

This blog was re branded to help you in JOINING THE DOTS IN LIFE. Its amazing to see and hear how the small things that we do can go a long way to make a significant change into people’s lives. I had not known this until a few weeks ago when I met with an extremely strange people who said hi to me on the streets of JKUAT. They informed me they had learnt of this blog through friends and had come to love it. Its not insignificant of you taking sometime to visit here and refer this to your friends even for your own empowerment. Today we are friends and I just thank God for that. Indeed I always think of “What if one day I woke up and found that the things I do have no real eternal significance” and so as I think of this I am inspired to do things that will count in eternity. That aside today I will help you know if really you are in a relationship or a situationship.

As I begin to unpack today’s topic I want to be careful and start with this disclaimer. “The thoughts herein are both inspirational through observation and research. They may be both real but does not necessary mean that they are personal events in my own life” At a time when relationship dynamics are constantly getting redefined and people are desperate to label their relationships, it seems as if guys and ladies are increasingly falling into the trap of situation ship.

And so what is a situationship? It’s more than friends – it is a local arrangement with some benefits but less than a relationship. It looks like a relationship to a man/woman, but it is an arrangement of mere convenience to the partners. As the name suggest it is one where a condition or position makes one to be found and maybe not of their own will. They find themselves doing things because they found themselves doing it. People simply find themselves doing things people relating do.

So what are the causes of this new generation relationship definition? One and the greatest is Ambiguity regarding your relationship status. It is also the most basic sign that you are in a situation ship. When people are unaware of what the end of a relationship end up in then they lose sight and want to be happy for the time being. They do not have future in the horizon. Many people are also to situation ships is loneliness. As people mostly the young people desire to identify with their friends who have fiancées they become vulnerable to falling into situation ships where they tag themselves to people of the opposite sex and want to act as if they are cozy and cool.

When a young lady begins relations with a charming gentleman and she has no expectations the greatest probability is that it will end up as a situation ship. If the man fails to tell her of terms of romantically relating of there are uncertain terms at the start me tend to think the man may not really be in need to seriously relate but rather he was just looking for random play. It starts like a normal friendship but now it’s branded as friendship with benefits. They share gifts and open their hearts to each other. And genuinely they sort each other especially in crisis. It seems that it is working for the time being and so either the man of the lady may settle for a causal relationship with him/her. For a lady she will later say, “He was a place holder and good enough for the moment,” when she ends up being frustrated.

A few weeks in, he/she will find themselves doing all things that a man/woman in a relationship does. They will buy each other gifts, go out for dinners and lunch, spend times together, call in weird times of the night, demand full disclosure of their almost everything that people in a relationship do, talk about love and do things as if they love each other.

It meets your immediate need for either sex and/or companionship. But what many people who engage in such arrangements are however oblivious to is the fact that while they carry on a meaningless arrangement with a gap-filler, they end up lose out on a real relationship because to a third party, they appear as if they are in a relationship. More people that knows them will think they have made a great couple.

Despite the fact that situationship exist, real relationships do exist too. True relationships are where sacred souls are on a sacred journey walk together honoring God hoping that two will become better than one and the sum of two parts they are complement to be one. And so the kingdom principle of love requires that those who choose to love must reach out and yield themselves and their resources to the needs of others whether they feel good about it or not. Demand for privileges and the pressure to claim and cling to our rights may be the greatest challenge to love and this makes the difference between true Christian romantic relationship and situationship. It’s not something of convinced. It’s something that people choose to do. To love compelled by the love of God. They make real cost of it so that they will not be laughed at when it fails. And by the way it never fails because God is the perfect match maker. This scripture is full filled in due course of their life. Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money (resources, strength), you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish.’

And now I know that you know now. Be careful not to be set in to the trap of situationship.