How Much Longer Must I wait?

Of late, I’ve realized I’m so guilty of being impatient. I have probably asked the question, “How long must I wait,” so much that God wants to personally come down and tell me to hush child. I’m like the “naughty kid” on a road trip that asks over and over, “how much longer” or “are we there yet!” Yes, I’m that kid and I still am that adult. Just put me on a plane. I need to get there quick. It’s at that time I’ve learnt how many times I have had to ask, how long must I wait? How long must I wait until I get the job? How long must I wait until I marry? How long must I wait until this storm passes?

Long Term Struggle

I’ve struggled with this area of my life and honestly, I still have my days where I have to get myself together. I have to do a constant self and heart check. I have been guilty of witnessing my friends get married, have children, work in their dream job, etc. to the point where I was so selfish in congratulating them because a part of me longed to be in their shoes. I couldn’t help but wonder, God, how long must I wait? God, when will it be my turn? God, I always receive the wedding invitations in the phone, but what about me? How long must I wait? Times seem my friends are taunting me I need to be quick and times I’m shy to confess, ‘she is not yet there.’ I’ve at times have had to look down and say, “Look, it’s not as you think….” And I have to give a reason why not yet, but who understands me? Matters are made more complex by the many articles I've documented in this blog sphere.

 For me it was that very desire to marry. This however changed when I came across this quote “When did the “I Do” become more important than the “well done”? There I realized that comparing my season in life with someone else’s could actually turn out to be the most stressing and complicated thing in my life. It’s similar to comparing our season of snow with our friend’s season of sand.

Season or Snow and Season of Sand

Just take it simply and ask, what would be the purpose of walking on sand at the beach in a trench coach and snow boots or walking in 12inch snow with a swimsuit and flip flops? None. But how comes I’m guilty of jumping time after time ahead of God’s timing that leads me down a road that just simply does not make sense. Then I’m justified to ask God what’s going on with our lives? I believe no. but what’s my problem, it’s being impatient and despising the word “wait”. The matter is made complex by the fact that I’m often tempted to take the word “wait” and associate it with “no,” never realizing that God has not necessarily said no. Trust me, I know it’s so hard to wait for something that we have a strong desire for. But then why should i not trust all will be well? Should I not keep up my faith? Certainly yes! I will not be making effort to blind my desires, needs or constant fears but I'll be feeding my soul and mind with materials necessary for achieving contentment. This is life, we are not in a competition, but we are here to run our race till the master says "Well done my faithful servant....Enter into my rest" Our rest in this world will be achieved when we learn whats our season.

I battled with this very issue for such a long time especially on committing to a long term relationship. This was until I found myself asking God to figure out the place of contentment in life. And it’s not easy dear friends.  But well I am beyond grateful that I’m making some progress. Contentment is not just a destination but also a lifestyle. I have learned that regardless of what season I face, whatever journey I go through, as long as I have not clearly heard God say it’s a closed door, I need not be anxious, I need not fear and I dare not doubt he certainly will lead me to the most opportune time to hook up with a lady and perhaps marry one day. 

I’ve to let my desires know that waiting time is not wasted time. I’ve to stay the course, stay committed to Christ, and rest in knowing that God has my best interest at heart. And friend remember, there is a time for everything and a season for every activity in heaven and God’s will for your life is far greater than any plan we could ever create. In due time, you shall reap if you do not give up.

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How to live positively after disappointments

Greetings!!! Welcome back to my media space! This is the last article am writing when this blog is celebrating it's second anniversary, I hope you’ve enjoyed the other articles too, click here to read them. This is part of my journaling because I’ve discovered a review of activities you have done makes you stay in touch with what exactly you want, where you are going and sometimes is an important indicator of certain relationships, dreams and things that you have to let go so that you can spend more time and efforts focusing on new possibilities. On your birthdays, anniversary and holidays, having a review is always exceptionally poignant in starting a new chapter because you get more aware of what you missed in the last season and what you need to do in this season to be successful. It helps you live positively after disappointments on your dreams.

Reflections From National Holidays

Kenyans will be celebrating Madaraka Day as a reflection of an independence war that happened long ago. The same has happened to Americans where over the weekend they celebrated the Memorial Day. In both countries patriotic citizens will be reflecting on wars and celebrate the efforts of the earlier generations. The bottom line is that, in both countries, we are setting aside a time to show our gratitude to heroes and heroines who sacrificed their own lives for the sake of liberties that we enjoy. Of course being a Christian and a Patriotic Kenyan especially, am thankful for the heroes who paid the freedom I enjoy today with their own blood.'

I think there hardest part being a Christian, ambitious and patriotic Kenyan is celebrating anything that has been won through a war. There are always some inconsistences that one will always have to be faced with. I mean just think about it, Jesus seems to have settled it on the Sermon on the Mount when he stated, turn the other cheek or love your enemies. In as much as this world wants us to believe that when we get lemons we ought to make some lemonade, it very tricky to remain peaceful when you have been tossed on every side by physical, psychological, and financial violence when we are going through this life. At such times, the simplest option we are all prone to is become angry, resent and of course want to revenge, complain and quit. That’s the easiest route that anyone can taking. You really don’t have to make more efforts to make a decision to return evil for evil that has been done to you, to blame others when things have not worked for you or walk away from your offices when you’ve been unfairly treated by an unjust manager.

Entitled to be Angry and Disappointed

And honestly speaking we are entitled to being angry and responding to our disappointments in a negative way. Think about it, a few months back, my friend and I were building a social web application; the idea seemed so awesome, creative, mature, and innovative and name it. It was just nice to say the least. We roll it out, it gains massive membership but unfortunately we got disappointed when the website come tumbling down due to technical issues that we have not anticipated. It was none of our error in the first place and therefore we had every reason to complain, abandon the idea or rejoice over it because we knew where it had gone wrong. We chose the latter. As I write this we are still finding a way to fix this issue. This is life! We get what we choose to imagine from the circumstances we go through in life.

Related: Power of Simple Conversations

 

Confrontation Leads to Despair

The worse, response that you can embrace when you are in a state of confrontation in this world is being intentionally combative, rude, cruel and bitter. Its true friends that you will be faced with battles that is outside the parameters that any consider as just to fight in, and the world will cheer violence and injustice to your dreams and vision, however just don’t be quick to despair. This is because becoming confrontational exposes you to being defensive and this hurts even the more your feelings than the real harm that the eventuality had caused on you. Take a deep breath, say to your heart, “it is well with my heart” and brace yourself to fight for another day. When you think it’s all over visualize peace, make effort to remain calm and surely even when there are sounds of rattling swords, bombs bursting in the air or firing guns, you will find safety and confidence in your own dreams and vision.

Read also: You are more precious to keep on Worrying

Live Positively

When you feel defeated in you world and are considering engaging in conflicts to save your image, and dignity always be careful and consider that option as a last resort. Dear friend, refrain and restrain from engaging in activities that will undermine your character and compromise your position. Instead be careful to negotiate your way and surely no one will stand your innovation. Embrace positivity from the disappointment. My own philosophy has always been that whenever that an idea that has come to maturity will always have its way. Sometimes people may be a little bit unfair to it but definitely it’s not long before they agree to it.

Expectations and Realities

This life will always present to us huge Gaps between our expectations and reality. And as human beings, facing reality isn’t so easy; most often wen wish we could avoid cause it may be somehow unbearable. The point is you need to have the courage to affirm you values, attitudes and faith while you acknowledge your vulnerabilities that you are exposed to. You need serenity when you think you are not lucky enough on this occasion or you are disappointed you did not have the capacity, skill and talent to push forward you agenda. The disappointments and frustration in life, ought to open up alternative realities for us so as to view new possibilities to things we have all together ignored and often such realities are for our nourishment.

Outcomes meant for your JOY and NOT MISERY

Disappoints are real in this life, but think of Amrit Desai, an Indian Guru who is said to have had a huge collection of extremely rare crystals which he had accumulated for many years. One day a lady cleaning his house accidently knocked the display case where the crystals had been housed sadly smashing the irreplaceable crystals. The lady was fearful of her error and pointing out her mistake to the guru expecting a violent response, Desai told her, “Those crystals were for my joy not for my misery”. What a turn around? If only you considered and accepted your frustrations and disappointments as reasons for your joy instead of taking them as reasons for your misery. Think about it, if you only hoped that your wildest of dreams will come true and only spent all your efforts discussing, imagining, dreaming and enjoying your best expectation of the outcome. When your desires and promises do not happen, you are certainly permitted to be disappointed but not for long to hinder your ability to see with certainty that there’s a good life after. Martha Beck says that “The fact that you are still alive means there is still too much that have happened to you than has gone wrong so far”. Don’t fear to stand, dust up and move on.

Conclusion

Just think about your greatest triumphs and disappointments over a dinner table with your family and friends, share this conversation with them. Celebrate with them and cheer up. There are better things coming up soon. Let go of those disappointments, begin to create and discover new dreams and exciting ways to start a new life. Have a reflective life. Remember to stay in touch with me at jeremiahwakamu@gmail.com or on Facebook Jeremiaho Wakamu to keep this discussion going. And again referrals though you social media network/connection and word of mouth is the best you can do for this blog.

Is Christmas a Time to enrich the Merchants?

Sunday afternoon! It’s Days after Christmas and New Year festive season. The Christmas thoughts cannot get over me.

I am thinking of this and past Christmas seasons. It has lots of things to do. Some are a must do, others have become are a norm. When I jog my mind back when I was a kid I just can’t help it but wonder the significance of some of these tasks in ‘my list of to dos’ in Christmas. You see when I was younger; I would walk along the streets of Nairobi with my dad. Normally, we would be shopping for the day.

A COMMON PHENOMENON: APPEARANCE OF FATHER CHRISTMAS

A common phenomenon then (By the way this still happens today), in and outside of almost all the shopping malls, there was Father Christmas. Usually, Father Christmas would sing the Christmas carols to kids and parents. Sometimes, they were artificial mannequins and would walk dancing in the shopping areas. They would be dressed in red and usually they had gift bags. He would give away gifts to shoppers and children. For kids, normally he handed over sweets to ‘the well behaved’ ones. (I really do not know how they would determine this). Perhaps this was meant to encourage the young ones to be well behaved during Christmas. For their parents on the other hand, shopping vouchers and food stuffs were given to them. This was done especial ally when they did shopping on certain items or spent a designated amount of money. You were to receive a token from Father Christmas when you bought marked gifts. This would encourage people to buy goods and gifts in mass. I enjoyed such moments of walking around doing shopping in Christmas. Everyone received free goodies on the terms and conditions of Father Christmas. I think this still happens perhaps in an almost similar version or an “advanced” version of it. People still do shopping.

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGLE: TWO GREEDY ONES

But what was the idea behind Father Christmas and his gifts? Was it not spend and spend for the greedy shoppers? It takes two to tangle. Two greedy people, one is wise and the other foolish. The merchants were the wise greedy ones who wanted to enrich themselves. How would they do this? Use the Father Christmas to attract the foolish greedy ones, to shopping areas by luring them with “free goodies”- in the first place free items did not exist. They made goods look cheaper by giving false discounts on essential items that are fast moving during the festive season. Then hand over free gifts to people randomly. With this point make people get to the shopping areas. Next make them spend even to their last penny in buying goods and gifts to their loved ones even those that they don’t need. And surely they did succeed. People would buy because they were taught that they must give gifts in Christmas.

THEN CAME BOXING DAYS

It’s in Christmas when we exchange gifts. Boxing days were then invented so that people would open gifts’ boxes they received from friends. Meanwhile the merchants would accumulate more and more wealth from bumper sales during Christmas. Was that not a good deal? A smart idea, isn’t it? It was something they have succeed and perfected even today.

DID FATHER CHRISTMAS EXIST?

But did father Christmas really exist? What is his significance in this season if he does and what is also his significance if he does not? Now, a Father Christmas does not exist. It’s just an invented idea by the merchants. It was something that was made in the minds of people greedy to get money from naïve shoppers who were careless. He does not exist anywhere in the real or virtual world and appears only in Christmas season. His appearance confirms the nature of human beings. Easy to deceive and quick to want and desire free quick things.

Forgive me but aren’t we lazy work? We love wages without working. The merchants understood this and exploited it to enrich themselves. To complicate matters, they targeted the children of poor greedy shoppers who are influential to their parents spending habits. And I think they did.

Father Christmas disguises himself as the custodian of good morals and so his work among the kids is seen as one which is corrective and preventive. He is thus a darling to them when he hands them small tokens as a reward to their behavior each according to his/her “measure of goodness.” The well behaved are given better and bigger prizes than their counterparts who misbehave. This idea maybe was meant to paint a picture of God who to them-children is just, good, loves and kind. This may actually be a nice thought idea to perpetuate but it fails to motivate good behavior among children.  It also brings a distorted message about God. However, such a picture is the only comprehensible idea that children can get of a good God. God is not such a “big man” standing beside us to check and supervise what we are doing. On the opposite, while he is nevertheless loving, caring, kind, good, powerful and righteous, but wants us out of our own free will to love him voluntary and so will not struggle to do good while hating evil. The system of reward and punishment as painted by Father Christmas is too a small thing to be compared to what God gives to them that love and treasure him. He gives abundant life to those who accept his gift from heaven who is Christ Jesus.

THE BRAINWASHING IDEA OF THE WISE GREEDY MERCHANTS

Friends as I write of this, I keep wondering when we will ever learn of this brainwashing thought of the merchants. Year after year they come and we do our shopping as if this is all that matters in life in this season. We exchange material gifts and life goes on. I have no bad blood with us giving gifts. I conquer that friendships and relationships are built and knit where there is mutual exchange of emotions and small or big presents. My only concern is, is there life after Christmas? I want to believe there is. Isn’t it? And so this season we must live with such prudence as befits it. We must be not extravagant. We will and have to do shopping but must too remember that we will have financial obligations awaiting us in January. Do your mathematics right and ensure that come the end of the season you will not regret having used all you wealth in a day. Do not blow all your money in days. Plan ahead.

A BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS

I want to believe the best way we can celebrate Christmas is when we do things that have significance here on earth and will also earn us a place in eternity. The simple things that we do matter most than anything else we deceive ourselves matter more. The simple gesture of spending time with family and friends goes a long way in touching their hearts. We need to show kindness and unending love to all people even those you think do not deserve to be loved. We will place tongs of burning charcoal to our enemies’ head when we become and become a little bit more compassionate to them. We will cause them to change their stone hardened hearts if we became just a little flexible and decide we better “loose” and they win if this will cause peace and reconciliation. Moreover, if the gifts we’ll exchange are out of willing and sincere hearts, the amount and value then does not matter. If it pains your heart but does not leave you guilty then you are on the right track.

This Christmas will just end up like every other you’ve celebrated, if we decide to only spend our wealth on feasting, clothes and making merry and forget the significance of it. If we fail to share our gifts with the less fortunate and the most vulnerable of our society, then this will be like many other Christmas seasons. We will wake up that day after the festivities and regret that we have done nothing worthy being proud of if we will decide to only decorate our homes, cook nice food, exchange expensive gifts and wear expensive clothes if we do not realize that this happens because the savior of our life is given and has been given to redeem us. Our hearts must be ready to receive him gladly as if he mattered more to us than the season. The birth of Jesus will be of more significance if we accept him as the bread of heaven, feast of him and we will be saved. The festivities mood will be better if by all means we will choose to do acts of mercy.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, enjoy your Christmas seasons. Be a blessing to others in these seasons as I hope I have been through this message. Come New Year I trust you will have no regrets because you will not have only enriched the merchants but also enriched yourself and those that matters to you. But also share this among your friends.