Singleness has never
been an easy season for any person. It’s the time people will spend countless hours praying
for their significant other. And if you are of faith, it’s the moment you
realize that the pain
of singleness can test your faith as an eighteen years old just as it will test you as you speed towards mid-twenties and finally approach thirties.
Deep
within, the unmarried souls lay the desire to finding someone that will love us
but love God more. And for the
Ladies that is the Man that they will willingly and joyfully submit to. And for
the Men, the desire is to have someone who will love God and submit to them. And
the point is, a young person is unwilling to settle for less than what they best
desire and is convinced that they should have. Apparently we thus wait sometimes with confidence
and expectation that something better will come our way at the best time but
not without sometimes doubting that the life clock is ticking away. For this
reason we tend to think it’s really a long and sometimes really long season where
we strongly resist go through. We would choose not to experience it if we had a
chance. It’s not really easy to go through this season. Greetings! Welcome back
to my media space, hoping you well. Today’s reflections revolve around
singleness, with particular reference as to why this season is not a punishment
and having realistic expectations of the spouse that we desire.
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Sometimes I just
really hate the thought of being single I mean how do you just survive it and
get through it. But I dread even more the thought of being in love. It has
certainly been a journey and a tough balance of attitude between the two kinds
of life. While I see the benefits of singleness as a period of refinement and strengthening
I certainly see its limitations. And thus I just wish I could push it through faster
and get married. The point is, in singleness, you tend to feel lonely, less than and
therefore inadequate. While these are lies, we feel that these lies are
what were are and meant to be. This sometimes makes us think that this period
has no benefit for us and does not help us to become any better. Therefore, in
singleness we feel at times ashamed of who we are and what we are capable of
being. From pressures from our parents, ministry and friends, we succumb
and want to compromise. Mind you the world does not treat singles as people who
belong. There are always expectations that beyond a certain age we must have done
this or that. For goodness sake, note dear friend, if you are single let it sink
in your soul, that in your singleness you are just a complete and equipped as married or
engaged but again you are as vulnerable as they are.
Choices when Single
Matters are
even more complicated by the thought that singleness is hurting you rather than
developing you to be a man or woman with aligned motivations and expectations
in marriage and romantic relationships. Frankly speaking when you are single it’s
much easier to think that you have few options in life while you in fact have more.
The choice of the options that you have entirely is left up to you and
depending on what your priorities are then it’s easier to go through life.
When deciding you want to break from singleness and become engaged, it’s
critical that you evaluation of whether you want to be vulnerable to abuse,
hurt and disappointed but it’s also experience a moment of learning to love, be
loved, have people we can share our dreams and aspirations with. It’s a time to
consider having people who you can frankly tell your fears and weaknesses
without being worried that they will fail us. That moment that you are out in a
city hotel or eatery and you see their face on the other side of your coffee it
dawns on you that “Hey, you are you sure, this is her?”, “Will be enough for her?” And at
that moment, tears starts to roll down your cheeks only hoping they won’t
notice them, for once you realize you’ve started to fall in love. You start
giving in; you really want to say it aloud but wonder whether your partner will
consider this as genuine? Only God knows, when you are courageous you speak
your heart and wait for their response and when you are timid, you want to go
home and wish it away and keep the feelings hoping they will subsidize but then
it’s more hurting. That’s the moment I realized how tough breaking from singleness
is hard true story and only my heart knows that the struggle is real.
Probably the anxiety is
much intensified by waiting on a perfect husband or wife or having unrealistic
expectations. You
rise up, stay alert in case your significant other shows up but anxiety is also
sitting next to you and you keep wondering if today or this moment he will show
up. You get stressed as you miss to see them. My dear friends, there
is absolutely nothing wrong by us desiring for a soul mate. It’s because
we are normal and thus desire companionship. Trust me, our only outdoing during
singleness season is sitting down and doing nothing in preparing for the next
phase of life. God knows that we desire a husband and for me a wife and of
course he knows the exact moment that it should happen. At the right season,
whether now or in the future I will move from my status to a new season of
marriage or singleness. Meanwhile, I also appreciate it may not work for me (Oh, No Why do I think about this?) and
so I keep my head on and keep hoping whatever the case, my heart desires to love, care
and be kind to a noble lady.
Earnestly Waiting
My entire
body will ache with earnest expectation of giving in and loving despite the
resistance of my soul but nevertheless I know possibly or possibly not that’s my
destiny. It may be hard to wait any more and for your information the waiting
gets harder the older you become and the temptation to settle gets even greater
but why should I not hang on? Why should you not? It’s much worse since the temptation
to orchestrate and manipulate things our way gets worse but we must run back to
our inner self every time and say there is even more need to wait. I
know the other side may be greener but I appreciate this side has more to learn
and gain from. Meanwhile I will continue in laughter and write my wife to sweet
love poems and stories in this media space. For indeed I would rather tell her
that I love her albeit her not sure who she is than wait in her death bed to do
it.
Read also: The
Girl I’ll propose to
My Love Letter
For once I must
let her know that I’ll not be getting married to her to be hero, nope. Dear lady,
I won’t try to be one to you. Your father was and if he didn’t I’m sorry. I want
to assure you that I want to be a hero to our sons and daughters that God
will richly bless us. I’ll rescue them from the pawns of the ungrateful world by
teaching them to fight on their own, to be noble men, to obey authority and to earn a
living from their hard work and sweat. I’ll provide to them, I will read them
bedtime stories, I’ll take them where dad works and spending a day with them in
my desk when they are 8, I’ll help them with school work and more so I’ll teach
them to respect you. For you, I want you to boost my ego, to enrich my strengths
and reassure me of handsomeness, talent and cover my weaknesses. Promise to
shield me from ungrateful world, praise me among other women and men. I in turn
promise I’ll take care of, I’ll shower you will love, I
will crown you before men and will not spare a coin or energy to
let you feel you are the queen who deserves the best.
