The Girl I'll Propose to: She Loves me and not the brand

Every time I get thinking the girl I'll END UP marrying, my imaginations run wild and tame with all sorts of scenarios; good and bad. I also always tend to wallow in all sorts of emotions. If that's not enough, it allows life to gain new and dynamic meanings. I can't help it but ask questions regarding whats a good marriage like (what informs it), worth, purpose and basically if I am 'great enough' to be someone's husband on the least. Times before, I have written about the woman I will marry; First, She must love solitude, then she must be entrepreneurial and today we take it a step further, she must love me and not the brand or a strange version of me. Just me!

GIFTING AS A LOVE LANGUAGE

Welcome back to my media space and experience my thoughts. Gifting is one of the love languages. Being gifted with something nice, personal and well thought out... better yet if you'd express a liking of that particular 'thing', gets the giver so elated. This usually serves as more than enough motivation for your partner to love you more.

A GIFT THAT'S 'NOT ENOUGH'

But sadly, it's not always possible to buy a "wonderful and amazing gift" for him/her and especially if you are unemployed or other times coz you are not sure if your significant other will appreciate it. Too often, we think they will not. Perhaps, we reason it's not the best. We think it's less valued and they won't like it. What we can afford thus, we do not allow it flow to the lives of our loved ones. And so "our fear" keeps us from loving as we should through our gifts. We think it's not enough, it can't be taken. In vain, we think they deserve better than we are considering offering. We constantly hide under the veils of us not being able to afford an "enough gift". We therefore do not allow us to let love through simple gifts. And so at those times, when we realize it has been a while without showing love through a material gift, we become filled with thoughts and feelings of guilt and 'not enough- ness' and panic! In the process we think aloud "We've got to do something!" rightly so, we buy them gifts, priced to bribe our partners for love or rather make them happy to love us back. The cost of love!

LONGING TO BE ENOUGH

However, the most devastating moment of it all is the longing to just be enough for your partner. And so even then, wonder if you, just you, without the gifts, would be enough to elate them. What if you continuously show up empty handed, and only brought yourself, your emotions, feelings and stories, would you be 'enough', even daringly 'more than enough' for them?

Would they take you regardless and evidently unconditionally? When such a condition is presented to you, your whole being cries like you've to do something so that you become enough for them. But wait a minute, how do you become better than enough? You are just you. You can only be enough without having any makeup-artificial emotions, behaviors. Without glass masquerading. I mean without reasons why you should be accepted. You being you without any offer and ending up enough. Just like a ram being led to a slaughter house so you become. You become vulnerable to your him/her knowing they love you anyway. They would rather lose everything else than lose you coz they simply love you. There's an alternative, an open one for a fact but they choose you over it. The door is open to leave but they choose to ignore it in favor of you. The main reason they cling to you is simply you being you: unique, you help them fill the emptiness in them. They would find fault in you but instead choose to help you over it. They will not let you down when you fall but will find all reasons to help you come up again. You might have hurt them but they do not find enough reasons to walk out on you. In your mess, they take you. Just you! Just me! They cover it, they don't pretend it never happened, it did they know. That, they see it as an enough reason to perfect, Complement and make you better. Ego aside, that's the woman I want. This is the type my heart longs to meet some day.

'MY TYPE'- The Girl

I will marry "her" if she will be proud of me as his flesh and not because of my wealth- I actually currently lack much material. That’s not permanent anyway. In my poverty, I will only offer me to her and in my riches I will still offer me to her. If she will accept my proposal then I'll marry her.

When I have nothing particularly fancy to show off, I want to ask her to be my life partner. And as my love, the wife of my youth, to take me. Just me! No perks. Just me!

I want her to hang out with me for life time, even if there are pretty obvious reasons not to be with me. Me and me alone to be enough for them. Alone to be their enough security. Their enough expectation. Their enough in their fears, their enough in deferred hope, their enough trust in their trials and temptations, their enough when conflicts arise, their enough in discouragements, their enough in everything. When there's no reason to live, I want her to take me as their enough reason for living. When it's all systems go, I should be the enough for her to change her mind and have me. Yes, she to take me just their enough. Not my money, not my gifts, not my six packs, not my handsomeness and not my titles. Just me!

WHEN SHE SAYS 'YES I DO'

I want her when she says yes to me, and says "yes she does", all she wants from me is my company, me to be the source of her strength, comfort, fulfillment and everything else. Coz I’m just me. She must not ask for a better version of me. She must not demand long and better record of good works, fancy titles I don't even have. All I want is her "yes" and live with me when I have nothing to impress or give except me. She will have me, just me.

I hope I find one who is willing to say yes to this proposal. In return I will give all of myself to her. I will not distribute myself that she may have parts, but every day I will give all of myself as full as if there were no others. I will give her my personal best for this life. I will in turn brighten their days. I will fulfill their dreams and walk in hope for better days even in ranging storms and darkness. I will make a convent with them to live faithful, protective, understanding, honoring and respecting her. So if it's a "yes" it must be personal and binding. “Till death” do us part? A marriage kind of a yes. A forever and ever one. A total yes. Note am saying this A marriage kind of Yes because I believe when I ask for her hand in a romantic relationship it will end up in marriage.

OVERFLOWN CUP OF LOVE AND EMBRACE

 Her cup must always run over with love and tight embrace when it should run dry. She must ask for me, just me, as I am, even in my dirt she must be willing to hug and lead me home just to have me. She must choose me not my job, fashion or achievement. These are important but not eternal just as marriage is. However, it's part of a pilgrim’s journey to the beautiful shore. We must live it as so God would desire. We must live it as a an outward expression and the only comprehend able relationship that earthly kings - heathens will ever know of the eternal, indiscriminate and unconditional love of Yahweh the only true immortal God.

CONCLUSION

I want her who will forever take me just as I am and altogether with all the other things you come with. Are you there to say yes, a resounding yes?! A decisive yes, to take me alone? Am waiting for you

Have a reflective life.

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