Have you completed all your Assignment?

I bet if we went through our lists of to dos, closets and drawers we would find signs of in-completion: undone task(s) in the list, a pile of magazines and book(s) we have not read; a guitar that we never learned how to play and uncompleted project/assignment. This is because we are a times people who are great in starting things and bad in following them through. And what about all the emails you’ve not answered? We are almost midyear and we ask what about New Year’s resolutions we find unmotivated to finish?

I guess this sounds familiar to most or some of us. And if this is so, here are a few things to consider before leaving something unfinished:

The hardest part is starting, not finishing. Starting something is already a big achievement in itself. Most people get stuck in the thinking phase. They never get to taking action on their ideas. Taking one little step towards your goals, is already some progress. You are on the right track. All you’ve to do is take more steps and little by little you will get there.

Procrastinate consciously. You’ve to be honest with yourself and say it out loud – “I know that if I postpone this task for later, I will feel less motivated to complete it. I fully realize that there’s no better time to complete it than NOW and I am deliberately making myself work harder.” If you still procrastinate, you will do it consciously. But more likely, you’ll complete what you’ve started.

Apply ‘All or nothing’ principle.  Something is either done or it is not. When it is not done, it does not matter if it is half done, nearly done or is going to get done some time soon or later – the result is always the same – IT IS NOT DONE. Therefore, make a commitment that any new task you start it’ll be completely finished. No excuses and exceptions.

Perfectionism is the worst enemy of completion. You can improve something for as long as you live. This process is endless. No matter how great you do something, there will always be some way to improve your work. So if you have a perfectionist streak in you, approach every task as a draft – do it as quickly as possible and if necessary make a few adjustments later.

Created in Eden Learnt out of Eden

Relationships and marriages are challenging. It’s really hard to believe people’s ideas on what romantic relationships and marriages are. Everyone have their own definition of what a perfect one is. For some, it’s having a perfect mate who they can click on everything – the proverbial lock and key sort of.

We however live in an imperfect world where even the best relationships become tested, pulled, stretched and strained by life’s circumstances.

And at the core of these moments of frustration, disappointment and even anger when they are tested, rest the desire for our chosen partner in life to be perfect.  The need for perfection mainly stems from our desire to fulfill the dream of a young lady and man about what true love is. This idea of a perfect relationship may be far from the truth and a hard truth to accept.

Hallmark cards, romantic comedies, poems and quotes, love songs, romance novels, parental influence or societal conventions stress this idealistic view of relationships as being perfect.

The unfortunate reality is that there is no such thing as the “perfect mate.”  We are human and as humans we are messy, complicated and fallen creatures.  In Genesis, Adam and Eve introduced sin into the world.  We do not inherent their sin but we remain flawed in our sinful flesh.  Any notion of perfection is the deception conceived by our mind into believing in a reality that does not exist.

Soul mates are the imperfection of two spirits made perfect in the union of love. People have shortcomings.

 

More so, what we forget is the simple biblical truth that what we know marriage and romantic relationships is limited. The true mirror of what it is supposed to be is what we lack. God introduces marriage in Eden but I can say if too unfortunate, he sends Adam and Eve away from the garden of the Lord when they sin. Given this circumstances, most of what we learn about it is actually when humans are out of Eden where there was perfection. People learn to live together in an imperfect world. They learn to relate while there is pain, suffering, and have to work and when they have a definition of good and bad. It’s not precise how long the first beings stayed in Eden and get instructions from God as he visited them in the cool of the day, but I guess perhaps by the time they left Eden, they had just enough ideas of how to rear children but no experience.  It’s actually learnt when man is away from God and he has to constantly look onto God for direction.

Marriage has been learnt in a world when everyone seeks the best for themselves. Because of our sinful nature, there is pride, deception and lust and in all these we hope to find the beauty of marriage. The confusion goes on.

Marriage having to be learnt out of Eden should not however limit and hinder our view of marriage and family as an institution that is real and important. It should work. Indeed the Lord does not withhold anything good to them that he loves and he has given us everything we need for our salvation. The reveled things are to us our benefit and the concealed things the delight of the King of Glory. We need not complain that the reason why it’s not working is because God does not love us and has not given us sufficient reasons and ways it should work. This is his only privilege to let it be a mystery. We cannot summon God to explain it.

God knows the only relationship of perfect love we could understand is marriage and so uses this example to mirror the relationship that Jesus has with the church- his own body. I would ask if this is what we can understand why we should not even make it radiant by praying and seeking to make love evident in how we treat each other in romantic relationships.

Our deliberate focus on our partner’s beauty, generosity, compassion, and spiritual faith, strength of character, forgiveness, nurturing spirit, motherly/fatherly love, and honesty should all transform our way of seeing each other on daily basis. There will be frustrating behaviours with your partner but this confirm that we are not perfect beings. The behaviours are as a result of imperfections. Instead of just pointing fingers to our patners and blaming them for all the bad they are, seek to love them and make them better bring out perfection in them. Be committed to make them make up for the areas that do not come up too well.

The lesson we should learn is that imperfection should not weaken true love, undermine healthy relationships and prohibit life-long marriages that continue to thrive year after year.  The foundation of all relationships needs to be God and Jesus Christ.  A marriage rooted in Biblical Principles is still a union of two imperfect characters but it is made perfect by having faith in God.

The kingdom principle of love requires that we choose to reach out and yield ourselves and our resources to the needs of others whether we feel good about it or not. Demand for privileges and the pressure to claim and cling to our rights ceases.

Do not focus on your own perfection because you have your own weaknesses. But ask what you can do to make your marriage become better. But also focus more on God because unless he becomes our priority, everything else will be confused. If God does not build a house, it’s all in vain for the builders and if the Lord does not watch over a city the watchmen stay awake for nothing in the night.

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Going through life without complaining

I have realized how much we can complain. You cannot imagine how much sometimes we painfully say we do not have a thing; sometimes we say we have too much or little of this or that. You see the other day while thinking of the many times I’ve fallen into the trap of openly showing my displeasure with what I own and what I do not, I realized that I complained of things that are either of little significance in life or if they were, they are not a big deal. We can do without them and still become successful. I mean they needed not worry us too much.

Sometimes we complain that we have not as the talent a friend has, we are not loved as they are by their parents, girlfriends and friends. Other times, its we have no great names as they have, we do not live in a big house as they do, we are not performing well in our careers/academics as they are, our body is not fit as ‘theirs’, we are too young or old to do a project or we’ve no money to buy a luxury. We have ‘no opportunities’ like they have, we claim.

Sometimes we complain because we are jealous of what others have and we want to be like them.

These things of course are important to us. I only have a problem when complaining direct what I think, dream, talk and do always. Complaining will become a problem to us when we note that it becomes a hindrance to us to start thinking and appreciating what we already have than what we do not have. When we fail to take care of what we have and work with it because we are complaining all the time that will become our outdoing.

Complaining always close our eyes so that we cannot see that indeed we have too much than what we don’t to make it in life. Complaining is as bad as saying that what we have is not as good. It makes us accuse ourselves of ‘inabilities’ to do something. It makes us want to be aggressive for nothing trying to be someone else. We think we are inferior because of what we do not possess. And this is life, where everyone has a unique gifting so that we can make a society functional. We are made to complement each other. Why should we complain and want to be somebody/something other than what we are? When we complain, we are simply saying deep within ourselves that someone can do my role better than me and I can do their role better than themselves. Yet we do not have their skill or talent.

When we go through life without complaining, we become happier to pursue our dreams. We become contented to run our course knowing we can be excellent and win. We run our race and are victorious in our terrain.

The WHY always sets the agenda for the WHAT

Life is such that we are constantly faced with choices. We have many alternatives. Thus, there’s the need to make the most important decision of what to choose and what not to. These alternatives will cost us something in the long run and definitely we need to be careful on what we opt for. If we make certain decisions they either take us to the positive or on the negative in life. The good and the bad of life is that, every decision(s) has a consequence(s). Ultimately, we need to be careful to make the best decision so that we progress to the positive. We need to let the influence of our doing things emanating from decisions we make every day, be such that we are convinced that they will add value to our lives and that we will find joy now and in future pursuing our purpose in life.

Most people will have no problem deciding between a positive and negative choice. Good/positive and bad/negative is relatively universal. Any sober person can make a simple decision about them. However, we are also often faced with very many good options. But how do we decide which one to take? When such is the scenario where the options are all potentially good, what happens?

This forms the basis of our reflections today. What helps to distinguishes between good and great decisions is the why – the reason for existence. It’s the reason why something is and is not. It is the underlying intention of an action and/or a situation. If you do not know why you are doing what you do, then any decision becomes acceptable once it sounds good.

When purpose is unknown, choices abound. The revelation of purpose streamlines the decision making process. It reveals the original intent.

Decisions get their life from purpose. And living without a purpose is like trying to navigate a ship in the ocean without a compass. There will be a lot of motion but no progress. You can move to any direction at any speed without any worry. It’s a vain activity to try navigating in a vast ocean without such a small gadget. In any case, progress is not determined necessarily by how much we move but by how closer we are to where we set out to go to.

When faced with a tough decision, you must begin by elimination. This is the weeding out ideas that just aren’t the most important. Sometimes we may not know what we want, but we know with certainty what we don’t want. We must then do the elimination. And so you ask, ‘Will this decision take me in the direction I was made to go? Will it make me more of what I was established to do, or will it take me away from my original intent?’ This is the WHY that sets the agenda for the WHAT in life. When we know the WHYs in life we will move from the intangible to the tangible in decision making of what is good for us and not the other.

When you do not lose sight of intent and destination, the process of making a decision between very good options will always be simplified. When you know the WHY of WHAT you are doing then your agenda will be straight forward. You can defend the very thing you are currently engaged in.

The Power of Diligent Hands

People can be born in the same neighborhood, brought up in the same environment, exposed to similar circumstances and attend the same schools yet end up so differently. Some become kings, wealthy, happy and successful while others become completely opposite; slaves, poor, unhappy and stillborn. But what brings this difference in life?

In today’s reflections, we explore an idea behind this difference; the power of diligent hand’s.

People who choose to remain focused working diligently with ‘their own hands’ are known kings. They are the rulers and lenders but not slaves and borrowers. Those that work are always the most successful. They make things happen. They create new things. They beat the temptation of associating their predicaments in life to the environment. They have the passion to conquer their own fears and do something worthy with life. Hardworking people have the passion which is the fuel to take action even when there are all signs ‘it’s going to fail.’ They have not time to pause debating within if they should quit. They are persuaded within their heart to follow the persuasion of their heart. Along the way, as they pursue life with all excellence, they attain success. They seek excellence first in life but they get influence in addition. They leave their marks in the memories of people now and when they are gone.

With diligent hands, amazing designs/innovations are created. Diligent hands revive falling businesses. They restore tattered hopes and broken promises. Good works result from diligent and skilled hands. Our becoming successful is the combination of talent first, passion, training and hard work closely following. A mix of them all brings out the exception in us.

Each day, we must be excited to work diligently in whatever our hands find to do. We must be dedicated to our assignments in life. We have to continue doing what we ought to do in order to earn what’s rightly ours. Nothing should come costless. Old age wisdom goes, ‘nothing comes in a silver platter’ and hence nothing came to human beings without their input. Without working, life would be unexciting and tasteless. People wouldn’t need to interact and cooperate. No research would be needed, no trainings would be required and no new, exciting thing would ever appear on the face of earth.

However, people remain poor if they do a little ‘folding of the hands.’ A lazy person ends up as a slave. Lazy people are constantly complaining about a thing or a situation that they can change. They live a life of regrets for lost opportunities. They are in perpetual conflicts with people who hate this evil habit. They waste their time thinking of things that are not, dream of things that can be but lack the passion, zeal and energy to make them happen. Among lazy people impossibilities exist; there is always a resistance to do something. They entertain mediocrity. They remain miserable and die without tasting true success.

Age Opportunities

As one grows up, they go through specific seasons. When years go by, the seasons change and so do the opportunities in that season come to fruition. Each season/age brings good tidings in form of specific opportunities. These opportunities will perhaps never be experienced in other age. They are unique to that age. And when an age goes by, it becomes less obvious that to whom the joy and privilege of exploiting these opportunities is given, they will recover them. Such chances are lost when you remain idol and do not capitalize on them. When this age is gone, these advantages go and others come. The old ones slowly fade away and new ones appear. And so every season we must learn what it brings forth, what it is to us and so what then we must do at that time. When we understand this, we prioritize where and in what we spend our time, energy and the resources we have.

Think of normal old folk and a young man. Both may be living in the same neighborhood but they have different opportunities all the same. This is because the young man has youth age opportunities while the old man has old age opportunity. Old age is associated with wisdom while youth is associated with inexperience. If both were to carry out businesses, they will have quite dissimilar clients and use different tactics to win their customers. The young guy may be aggressive but nonetheless the old folk may get the confidence of some customers. They have been in the ‘system and know how to maneuver. However does this mean the young man has no hope? Absolutely not! In fact the young guy too can make his way to the top.

Most opportunities exist when one is relatively young. For one, as a youth, people have ‘fewer loads to saddle on their back.’ A young person has less to be worried about when leaving home to pursue his career or business deals. Young people have fewer things to hinder their movement or to drain their energy. They concentrate all their energies to working, earning and pursuing their dreams. Young people can work in projects with ‘undivided interests’. They have no large families to worry about and if they have only a young wife/husband and one child. Costs involved in relocating are smaller. Attachments to objects, things and places are not much. They can easily learn new or drop old techniques and tricks. They can go for long durations for business trips and job assignments without worrying about their aging parents. Young professionals can travel the world without worrying about their health or their family investment. Old people think more about their homes. It’s when you are young that saving and investing is easier since there are less financial commitments such as school fees.

As a young man, you’ll have the luxury of making mistakes. As you work and grow with your mentors, they will give a chance to ‘fail.’ They will give an opportunity to make a few errors and correct you. You will have an opportunity and a leeway to make small errors that will help you learn in life. When you are young, you are allowed to do things that ‘may not’ work. Actually, it’s only when you are young that employers and supervisors will entertain some small margins of errors when working that may not have much bearing on the company progress. They will not fire you simply because you have done a mistake on your first day at your new job. It may be ‘an obvious mistake’ that under few circumstances will be accepted to them but they will understand not for your case. Your seniors will overlook your inexperience, appreciate your effort, guide and put up with you till they are convinced you’ve had a good time to learn and adapt. They will help you settle down. Before they decide it’s all over between you and them, they will first do a good orientation. No one will be surprised when you make small errors when trying new things. When you try your hand I entrepreneurship but ‘temporarily fail’ because of a poor marketing strategy you can start again aware of your shortcoming and build an empire. Older people are thought as wise and will not be excused when they make ‘obvious errors.’ Everyone will demand perfection from them. This has the implication that you need to take advantage of this age not to make mistakes that inexcusable but to not be afraid to trying because you think you’ll fail or be ashamed when things do no turn as you hope. These failures should be taken as temporal and a stepping stone for greater things in life.

At a young age there is the opportunity for you to challenge traditions. You can challenge old age wisdom of doing things. You can develop new standards in your career. You can invent new ways of doing business. When you are young, you can set new limits and standards of excellence. You can break the norms and become successful. You can develop new convictions on life and pursue excellence in a different way other than using the same principles that earlier generations tested and found to work. With new knowledge you can discard ‘lies’ that may have existed. When you are old, you will already be attached to the ‘system’ and it will be difficult for you to influence a real change to what it is. Old guys are biased to what already exist. They have confidence that, what is established is what works. They are closed to new ideas. And so they encourage that you follow the foot prints in the path that the system has set up. But when you are young, you have the opportunity to start all over, make your own impression and leave new trails where there existed none. You can be the ‘curtain raiser’ in your field of gifting and training. You can set the pace and trend in an industry.

When you young, you have the opportunity to explore new ideas and the environment. It’s only when you are young that you will have the strength, mind and willingness to try and work on new ideas. At this age, you can entertain ideas of developing new products, introduce new services or visit new places that may not after all be enjoyable. Young people are always known to enjoy taking high risks. They will want to be creative enough to come up with new devices, buy new ideas and even pursue ‘not-so-attractive’ careers. They simply want to be different. They have a liking for what is new and flashy. And so long as it fits in their description of perfection, success and happiness they will go for it. And so at a young age it’s time to engage in new and diverse but meaningful things and who knows what may come out of it? Fully convinced, of an idea to start a business to provide particular products or services work it out. A simple idea to develop a new machine may be what the industry needs for efficiency in processing. New software could be what is needed in businesses to make transactions more secure. A new job in a different industry could be your chance to take you career to new levels.

And so do not sit and watch things happen because you are young. Make things happen. You have very good opportunities to do it. You are no lesser to ‘the experienced’ folks. Perhaps only events separate you and them. The thought that success for a certain aged people does not hold water. All can work, win and be proud to be the pace setters in their area of gifting and training.